Network Like A Woman (not man)

When I had my first baby I refused to go to a “mums group”.  

I was certain the type of women who went to those things were those who needed to sit around and whinge about their husbands and had no career aspirations. 

What would I honestly talk to them about? 

It brought up the same emotion as if you told me I’d have to attend a breakfast networking event for work. 

Yuk. 

By the time my son was 8 weeks old, he’d already undergone surgery, wasn’t sleeping, and breastfeeding was freaking hard.  

(If I could use expletives to make my point, I would.)

My husband, seeing how I was struggling, gently nudged me to finally go along to our local community group.

So there I was, a professional, A-type personality, sitting around in a large circle with at least 20 other mums wondering what the heck I was doing there.  

Whilst navigating the stupid buttons on my apparently “easy breastfeeding” shirt I listened to each of the women speak. 

Wow. 

All of their questions and struggles were exactly my own.  I shared their exact fears, doubts and concerns. 

And at that moment, I didn’t feel alone anymore.  I knew that this mixed group of women would be the most solid support network I would ever know.

Seriously, there is nothing quite like a 2am Messenger chat where you know they’ll be a lifeline on the other end.  Answering questions or just high fiving that you got through another day.   

If we look at women over the ages, we have always gathered under the vast, starlit sky, our voices weaving through the cool night air, and we’ve shared stories to learn, grow, and share wisdom for our tribe.  

As women, we’ve always had an innate sense of camaraderie that provided a strong foundation for mutual support and empowerment.

When we work together, every woman (and family) wins. 

So when I went back to work, and a challenge arose, I instantly wanted to work it through with someone but, who?  

There was no unbiased, supportive, trusted chat line available to console me after my 10am meeting blunder, and there were certainly no virtual high fives happening when I wanted to share wins. 

And I wondered, where is my support network? 

I had this beautiful supportive mums group, but professionally, this sense of togetherness had given way to competition and “aloneness”. 

I wasn’t the only one feeling it.  The women I worked with, and later my clients would tell me, we're experiencing the same. 

Networking and building a community is hard at work because of these factors:

1. It’s hard to talk really open up with your colleagues.  Can you really talk freely about your gap in skills or experience, your struggles with people at work, your pay (or lack of pay), your insecurities and self-doubts, or that you want your bosses job one day - nope! 
2. Your friends and family don’t understand your job, so the advice they give you boils down to either quit or suck it up. 
3. Meeting people at networking events is more surface level, and you're really only looking to tell people the best side of your work, yourself and why you should stay connected. 

But without support in your role (especially senior roles) you’re not only potentially missing out on career and financial opportunities, you’re increasing your risk for stress and burnout. 

So why are we great at doing this whole networking thing in life, but not so much professionally? 

I did some digging, and research suggests that despite workplace advancements, women still navigate a labyrinth of gender biases and negative societal expectations, subtly influencing how we build our connections and networks. 

What does this mean? We are trying fit into a mens world, and it's primarily based on being competitive - The competition culture. 

We compete to get the job.  We compete on salary.  We compete on performance review ratings. We compete for promotions.  We compete for the best ideas.  We compete to be better.  We compete for recognition. 

Even women who aren’t “competitive” personality types, ultimately compete in the workplace.  Everyone does because we’re all trying to fit into this current system called “work”.  

And when we are in "compete mode", we force ourselves to disconnect from how we best truly operate as women - with a community “we all win” mindset.

Our “networking” efforts are often aimed at getting the next job rather than being supported in the current one. 

Community makes a comeback.

When I launched my first Leadership Accelerator Program back in 2022, for some of the group members, it was the first time they’d been a part of a female-only private network. 

It was also the first time they felt they could share openly about their professional lives. 

They shared the struggles they were having with their teams, their managers and their stakeholders.  How these challenges impacted their home live, their confidence and self worth.  

They provided each other advice, encouragement and support.   

As a group we laughed, cried, learned and grew personally and professionally - we helped solve each others challenges, the groups confidence grew and it felt like we were becoming a force for good.  

It was a special place, once a fortnight where they didn’t need to “know everything” or appear to be “better” than how they were actually feeling.  They could just show up and feel included and supported.  

Just like my incredible mums group that saved me all those years ago. 

Here’s the thing; our networks should be more than just a list of contacts; they should be supportive communities where ideas flourish, challenges are met with collective wisdom, and successes are celebrated together.

When you have this in your life, you excel professionally and personally.  Such a win!  

My Mission

For those that have worked with me, you know my mission is “no woman left behind” and I truly live by that in everything I do here at Promotable You.  

It’s important that you have a professional group that understands you.  That listens to you.  That champions you.    

Realising this has solidified my resolve to deliver this type of structure for all women. I've admittedly been refining this for some time, but whilst I put the finishing touches on it, I plan on releasing it in late April. 

If you were considering joining such a group in your career, I want to hear from you so I can ensure I structure it in the right way. 

All you have to do is  CLICK HERE and you'll be added to the early notification list. 

I really want to make sure that I understand all of your challenges, aspirations and needs to make this the most impactful community you’ve ever been a part of so look out for more info soon!

Because when women win, we all win.  

Em x